Regret is no place to be... For my husband and I, eloping was hands down the best way to celebrate our marriage, and we encourage other couples to spare themselves the drama and simplify the wedding process. In comparing notes with other fellow elopers, however, I notice that some look back with nostalgia and regret. The major complaints? The courthouse wedding was uneventful, it is sad to have no photos of the momentous occasion and not having someone special to share it with. Below are the top elopement regrets and my suggestions on how to avoid them, so that your elopement can be as special and memorable as a grand affair.
The Courthouse Wedding
While seemingly glamorous in the movies, the elopement at the elegant historic courthouse performed by a distinguished actor bears no resemblance to its real-life counterpart. Having witnessed several of those, I can assure you there is nothing glamorous about donning your wedding attire through a skanky courthouse full of onlookers--some of them criminals. Sitting through other people's boring proceedings while you wait for your turn is plain anticlimactic, and there is nothing special about having a cranky judge read your wedding ceremony with the same passion he enters a divorce judgment into the record. The classic cup of coffee at the shop around the corner from the courthouse is not exactly festive and, obviously, not what beautiful memories are made of. Ditto for weddings at City Hall!
Not Capturing the Moment for Posterity
A friend who had a small private wedding does not regret taking that step. She only wishes that they had worn more festive clothing and had taken pictures to capture the moment and share it with their children. Years later and still happily married, these friends look forward to making up for the quick small wedding by having a beautiful anniversary celebration with renewal of their vows. Unfortunately, the fact remains that their very special moment went by and they won't be able to recreate it, frame it or share it with their loved ones.
Eloping Can Feel Lonely
For some, the thrill of the elopement consists of the illicit secret of running away without telling anyone. This shared complicity, however, can turn to emptiness after the vows are exchanged, the pronouncement is made and there are only strangers surrounding the happy couple on the happiest day of their lives.
Fortunately, all of these pitfalls can be easily avoided. Elopements are not all or nothing propositions. Eloping is all about marrying on your own terms, in a ceremony that expresses your love and defines your relationship, and includes the people dearest to you. The recipe for a memorable elopement calls for only two ingredients: a lot of thought and a little planning, as explained here.
Elope in a Place that is Special to You
Marrying in a place that has special meaning to you makes all the difference in the world. It can be the place you met, had your first date, vacationed, fell in love or realized that you wanted to spend your lives together. An elopement can take place in a beautiful park, your favorite inn or restaurant or your new home where you hope to grow old and raise your family. In looking to your future together, it can be a place that you have chosen to become your new special place. The possibilities are endless!
Create a Beautiful Ceremony
While the receptions typically take center stage at wedding celebrations, the ceremony is the real thing. Make it meaningful! Let your heart guide you. Write the ceremony together, write your own vows, pick readings that resonate with you, your relationship and what your marriage will be about. There are plenty of resources at your disposal online.
The celebrant is another key component to a memorable wedding. Select an officiant that will support and respect your choices, will help you craft your ceremony and deliver the words you have chosen with dignity, passion and joy. Depending on what state you live in, an articulate friend or relative could be ordained for the purpose of officiating your ceremony, and making it more personal.
Share the Moment with the People You Love
There is no rule dictating that elopements are totally secret and must be kept from everyone besides the bride and groom. Eloping is about freedom from convention, so including your closest friends and relatives in this momentous occasion is a wonderful option. Including your parents, siblings, children and closest friends will make you feel loved and supported. Think carefully and decide who are the people you want there.
Create and Preserve a Beautiful Memory
It is your wedding day. Make it unique, romantic, unforgettable. Dress up, feel wonderful, and bring your cameras! You don't need to invest in a wedding photographer if you don't want to. Ask a friend or relative with a good camera and reasonable skills to take pictures. Enjoy the moment and make it last.
Your wedding day is one of the most important days in your life. You only have one chance to get it right. Happy eloping!
