BEST-FRIENDS ELOPEMENT

At Le Chatelet, we are still smiling after celebrating the private nuptial of Kimberly and Bob.  We have yet to see a couple more in love than these two! Kimberly and Bob are truly an inspiration.  As their friend Michelle puts it, theirs is a love that shows, not from holding hands or PDA, but that it's more like an aura that surrounds them.  I couldn't agree more. 

Kimberly and Bob met in college, became best friends and, upon Bob's graduation, decided to share their lives as husband and wife.  Wise for their years, they know that friendship and respect are the pillars of a good marriage. I have no doubt that, 50 years from now, they will be celebrating their golden anniversary in total bliss.

Best wishes to this wonderful couple for a happy marriage full of joy, health and good fortune.

Photography by Jessie Ruvo

MOM'S DRESS: THE "IT" GREEN WEDDING ATTIRE

Wearing your mother's wedding gown is the ultimate green wedding statement--with good reason. Not only is is good for the environment, but it also sets the tone for a wedding celebration that honors family.

At Le Chatelet, we were delighted to celebrate Jessica and Richard's elopement, our first vintage wedding. I was pleasantly surprised to hear she would wear the wedding dress her mother, Susan, wore when she married Jessica's father, Jim, in 1969.

Jessica looked radiant donning this refined and tasteful ivory satin and lace dress, which she made fresh and modern wearing beaded thong sandals.

Jessica and Richard's wedding captured the essence of eloping. They shared a romantic ceremony they co-wrote, with beautiful readings, the inescapable tears, and lots of joy. Jim was visibly touched to see his "sunshine" wear his late wife's dress, which Susan had sewn herself. This beautiful union was followed by a casual reception, where the adults relaxed and toddlers got to explore exciting new surroundings in the country.

Not every bride is lucky enough to have a mother's wedding dress that is tasteful--and fits! On future posts, Lorraine Victoria, vintage fashion expert and owner of The Vintage Fitting Room, will tell us how to transform your mother's wedding dress into a custom made confection that honors your mother, and reflects the true you.

www.thevintagefittingroom.com

COSTA RICA: A HAVEN FOR ELEGANT ECO-ELOPEMENTS AND HONEYMOONS

Unfortunately, the word elopement doesn't call to mind visions of elegance, let alone communing with nature. Yet, elopements are good for the environment, because they sharply reduce the pollution and waste resulting from a large affair.  

While I am not a fan of destination weddings, on my recent trip, I found Costa Rica to be a magical place to celebrate a green elopement, and a very elegant one, to boot! Costa Rica, a beautiful country blessed with natural resources, has become a model of sustainable tourism, and provides the perfect backdrop to celebrate a green wedding and an ecologically-responsible honeymoon.

One step into the exuberant  gardens of the Tabacon Grand Spa Thermal Resort, and I was smitten.  Located near Costa Rica's Arenal volcano, the resort boasts the most beautiful gardens in the country, reeking of spectacular waterfalls and lush tropical flora.  The resort can arrange for a wedding officiant and hotel staff can act as witnesses, so that nature lovers can tie the knot privately in its luscious gardens.

The hotel rooms are luxurious and beautifully appointed, and the staff will make newlyweds feel extra pampered.  Soaking in the delicious thermal waters in the garden makes for an excellent beginning of a honeymoon, as well as cozying up in the cabanas of the relaxing adults-only Shangri-La Garden. The resort is accessible for doing a variety of nature tours in the area, but guests can enjoy fantastic views of the volcano without having to leave the hotel.

The hotel has received many awards as a leader of the hospitality industry in Costa Rica. Visit their website at www.tabacon.com.

For a taste of rustic elegance, head a half an hour south to the Chachagua Rainforest Hotel. Located on 247 acres of tropical rainforest, the hotel is a model of sustainable tourism. Included in the book "1000 Places to See Before you Die," the lodge is the ultimate rainforest experience. 

Within the reserve, you may take one of many available nature walks with Naturalist Cristian Padilla. We got to see a variety of flora and fauna, and fell in love with the colorful toucan birds and the shy two-toed sloth. You will find the sustainability tour inspiring, and Cristian will offer you excellent suggestions to set up a green household once back home. 

But the magic of the Chachagua Rainforest Hotel is that you do not need to leave the lodge to feel immersed in nature. Spending lazy days on the hammock of your intimate bungalow will surely hit the spot, while their chefs and attentive staff will delight you with the yummiest of food. For more information on this fabulous spot, go to their website at www.chachaguarainforesthotel.com

And to prove wrong the skeptics who think that luxury and sustainability are incompatible, check in at the Gaia Hotel and Reserve.  The Gaia has received multiple awards as a leading green hotel, as well as in recognition for its commitment to excellence. This five-star property is minutes away from Manuel Antonio National Park and has its own 14-acre reserve on a tract of lowland coastal forest.  There you can enjoy luxurious rooms, a dizzying array of spa treatments and delectable Costa Rican fusion meals, while enjoying a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean. You can even join the chef in their kitchen and participate in preparing your meal.

Naturalist Erik Ramirez will acquaint you with the flora and fauna within the Gaia reserve, and guides escorted tours to Manuel Antonio, where you can see, among many fascinating creatures, the red-eyed tree frog (sleeping), and the park favorites--the playful white-throated capuchin monkeys. The pristine beaches of the park are a perfect place to cool off after a walk on the warm rainforest. Take a look at their website at http://www.gaiahr.com/

  

But the highlight of the trip was our stay at the Quetzal's Paradise.  You can enjoy the most beautiful sunset from their charming rustic cabins, scattered on a cloud forest. Their mountain fresh air and lush vegetation brought me back to my childhood vacations at my grandfather's coffee farm.

Among their celebrity residents are several species of hummingbirds and, most importantly, the elusive Magnificent Quetzal, an exotic bird considered one of the most beautiful in the world. I can't begin to describe the thrill of holding the hummingbirds at the feeders of their Restaurant de los Colibries and feeling them buzz around me like little flying rainbows. 

Without a doubt, the crown jewel of this vacation was the viewing of the quetzal, a rare bird sacred to the ancient Mayan and Aztec cultures.  Fabio, our guide, was very knowledgeable of their habits and whereabouts, and spotted for us their nests, where we had the opportunity to view a female and two males, with their long tails and exquisite feathers. Find out more at www.quetzalsparadise.com.

As my husband and I held each other in the cool darkness of our cabin, we had a chance to reflect with gratitude on this marvelous vacation, and the love of nature and travel that brought us together and defines us as a couple.  We committed to, as we vowed five years ago, to continue on sharing together this adventure we call life.

AVOIDING ELOPEMENT REGRETS

Regret is no place to be... For my husband and I, eloping was hands down the best way to celebrate our marriage, and we encourage other couples to spare themselves the drama and simplify the wedding process.  In comparing notes with other fellow elopers, however, I notice that some look back with nostalgia and regret. The major complaints? The courthouse wedding was uneventful, it is sad to have no photos of the momentous occasion and not having someone special to share it with. Below are the top elopement regrets and my suggestions on how to avoid them, so that your elopement can be as special and memorable as a grand affair.

The Courthouse Wedding

While seemingly glamorous in the movies, the elopement at the elegant historic courthouse performed by a distinguished actor bears no resemblance to its real-life counterpart.  Having witnessed several of those, I can assure you there is nothing glamorous about donning your wedding attire through a skanky courthouse full of onlookers--some of them criminals.  Sitting through other people's boring proceedings while you wait for your turn is plain anticlimactic, and there is nothing special about having a cranky judge read your wedding ceremony with the same passion he enters a divorce judgment into the record.  The classic cup of coffee at the shop around the corner from the courthouse is not exactly festive and, obviously, not what beautiful memories are made of. Ditto for weddings at City Hall!

Not Capturing the Moment for Posterity

A friend who had a small private wedding does not regret taking that step. She only wishes that they had worn more festive clothing and had taken pictures to capture the moment and share it with their children.  Years later and still happily married, these friends look forward to making up for the quick small wedding by having a beautiful anniversary celebration with renewal of their vows.  Unfortunately, the fact remains that their very special moment went by and they won't be able to recreate it, frame it or share it with their loved ones.

Eloping Can Feel Lonely

For some, the thrill of the elopement consists of the illicit secret of running away without telling anyone.  This shared complicity, however, can turn to emptiness after the vows are exchanged, the pronouncement is made and there are only strangers surrounding the happy couple on the happiest day of their lives. 

Fortunately, all of these pitfalls can be easily avoided. Elopements are not all or nothing propositions.  Eloping is all about marrying on your own terms, in a ceremony that expresses your love and defines your relationship, and includes the people dearest to you. The recipe for a memorable elopement calls for only two ingredients: a lot of thought and a little planning, as explained here.

Elope in a Place that is Special to You 

Marrying in a place that has special meaning to you makes all the difference in the world. It can be the place you met, had your first date, vacationed, fell in love or realized that you wanted to spend your lives together.  An elopement can take place in a beautiful park,  your favorite inn or restaurant or your new home where you hope to grow old and raise your family.  In looking to your future together, it can be a place that you have chosen to become your new special place.  The possibilities are endless!

Create a Beautiful Ceremony

While the receptions typically take center stage at wedding celebrations, the ceremony is the real thing. Make it meaningful! Let your heart guide you. Write the ceremony together, write your own vows, pick readings that resonate with you, your relationship and what your marriage will be about.  There are plenty of resources at your disposal online.

The celebrant is another key component to a memorable wedding.  Select an officiant that will support and respect your choices, will help you craft your ceremony and deliver the words you have chosen with dignity, passion and joy.  Depending on what state you live in, an articulate friend or relative could be ordained for the purpose of officiating your ceremony, and making it more personal.

Share the Moment with the People You Love

There is no rule dictating that elopements are totally secret and must be kept from everyone besides the bride and groom. Eloping is about freedom from convention, so including your closest friends and relatives in this momentous occasion is a wonderful option. Including your parents, siblings, children and closest friends will make you feel loved and supported.  Think carefully and decide who are the people you want there.

Create and Preserve a Beautiful Memory

It is your wedding day.  Make it unique, romantic, unforgettable.  Dress up, feel wonderful, and bring your cameras!  You don't need to invest in a wedding photographer if you don't want to.  Ask a friend or relative with a good camera and reasonable skills to take pictures.  Enjoy the moment and make it last.

Your wedding day is one of the most important days in your life.  You only have one chance to get it right.  Happy eloping!

ELOPEMENTS AND GREEN WEDDINGS: A WORLD IN COMMON

You may wonder what elopements , the main subject of this blog, have to do with green weddings.  The answer is deceptively simple, because it is all about simplicity.  While not all green weddings are elopements, green weddings, by definition, are small and intimate.The eco-friendly wedding keeps the guest list down, not necessarily to save money or avoid drama, but to keep to a minimum the impact on the environment, gas consumption and emissions related to guest travel. The green wedding is not premised exclusively on the love between the bride and groom, but on their shared love for the planet that sustains them.

Having a green wedding makes sense, and elopers would be well served by incorporating eco-friendly practices into their celebrations.  Green weddings are often officiated in beautiful natural places that are perfectly suited for small groups.  The use of recycled and reusable materials in their invitations, celebration and favors make environmental and financial sense.  Serving locally-grown products sustain the local economy and make a healthy food choice.

On future posts I will share with you ideas that can be adapted to elopements and green weddings with ease and success. 

ANNOUNCING THE ELOPEMENT

You must be wondering, when do you tell people that you're planning to elope? The answer is--you don't--unless you want to be talked out of it. There will be no shortage of self-appointed wedding planners and self-invited guests who will tell you "you can't do that." Share the news with the guests who will be included in your celebration and ask for their discretion.  When curious souls ask you about your wedding plans, just tell then it's a secret and that they'll find out at the appropriate time.

In our case, we invited others to share in our joy by sending announcements (promptly after the wedding) that included a link to our wedding website, where we posted our elopement story with photos of the ceremony and reception for them to view. Nobody appeared offended for not being at the wedding, and we received lots of well wishes from the friends and relatives who sincerely cared about our happiness. That's what marriage is all about.

THE ELOPEMENT GUEST LIST

Now that you've decided to have a private, intimate wedding-who do you invite? The answer, like everything else in your wedding  planning, depends on your personal circumstances. An elopement can be as small as just the bride and groom with witnesses provided by the wedding celebrant, to a small guest list comprised of the couple's closest family and friends. The critical thing to consider is who are the most important and supportive people in your lives and with whom you wish to share your special day. 

The majority of people who will not participate in your ceremony will understand your decision and rejoice for you if you announce your  marriage in a thoughtful, inclusive way.  Do be mindful that, as couples having big weddings, there will always be people who will be bitter for not having been invited. In the case of an elopement, you are armed with the powerful excuse that your event was very small. Remember that you also have the possibility to include those not invited to the ceremony by hosting an afterparty that suits your personal style and finances.

In our case, my husband and I eloped locally. Our wedding consisted of  six guests: the judge, her husband, who acted as volunteer photographer; two close friends whose families always welcomed us into their lives and celebrations; my husband's 18-year-old son and his girlfriend.  We shared a magical evening that included a beautiful ceremony and a romantic candlelight dinner at our favorite inn.  We kept our affair small, because our parents were elderly and lived far away and could not share in the moment.

The morning after the wedding we took our closest friends to brunch to announce our  naughty "indiscretion". After our honeymoon, my parents hosted a 20-guest tapas and sangria reception at a historic property to welcome my husband into the family. We skipped the afterparty because we were overextended with work, personal obligations and the daunting task of building our home.

Our wedding festivities may have been small in number of guests, but filled with love, joy and  support.  That's the beauty of eloping.

MY ELOPEMENT STORY

If planning a wedding is driving you crazy and the thought of eloping has crossed your mind--read on. If a small, intimate event is more your speed, but you feel pressured by others to have a full blown wedding, follow your heart and join the club.

I know these social pressures well. After my mother threatened never to speak to me again if I eloped (I made the mistake of telling her I thought running away to Quebec and returning a married woman was impossibly romantic), I had to endure a 150-guest wedding where I didn't know half of the guests well enough to wish to share my special day with them. 

Second time around, my fiance and I, overwhelmed by the daunting task of planning an elaborate event while juggling two demanding careers and building our dream home ourselves, opted for an intimate affair.  We ran off to our favorite bed and breakfast and exchanged vows before two of our closest friends as witnesses.  A judge I worked for and loved celebrated our ceremony, which we wrote ourselves to reflect our love and the nature of our relationship. 

As we get ready to celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary, we have no regrets for having taken this path. There was no stress, no drama, and the memories of a beautiful ceremony by the warmth of a glowing fire live on.

Getting married is a very personal decision.  How to celebrate your union is something each couple should do based on your unique personal circumstances. Whatever your wedding style, I will share with you tips to keep you sane through your wedding planning and bring serenity and joy to the process.  If you are planning to elope or celebrate an intimate wedding, I will guide you through the challenges with style and ease. Stay tuned!